the anniversary... (part 1)

She was angry with herself and thinking about what could be prepared quickly for dinner as she climbed the dark staircase to her house. But she felt more tired than angry. Work had been really hectic of late. The new project manager was always stressing on meeting deadlines as this was an important client for the company. She was not about to let one botched delivery ruin her entire year's efforts, when the appraisals were due next week! Her module was ready and she was set to leave for the day. As per habit, she hit the "refresh" button on her mailbox as she gathered her belongings from the desk and stuffed them into her bag. She instantly realized that she shouldn't have done that. Sure enough, "You have 1 unread mail" popped up on her screen. She wanted to ignore it, lock her screen and go home, but could not.

"Hey! Great work. It looks perfect! But we were just wondering if..." went the mail. That "if" kept her at her workstation for another 3 hours. Finally when she got up to leave, almost the entire office had emptied out. A few cubicles were still lit up. She passed by her manager's desk, who acknowledged her effort with a depressed smile. "At least he himself does what he expects others to do" she thought as she swiped her ID at the attendance-recording machine by the door. "Hope he remembers this in next week's appraisals!"
She'd forgotten to wear her watch. The time on the machine said 21:03. She hung her head. "No way I'm changing two buses to get home at this hour." As she walked out of the main gate, she hailed a passing auto-rickshaw. Rummaging through her bag, she found her mobile phone and sent her husband a text, "Leaving office now. Will be home in some time."

She did not even argue with the auto-walah, when he acted as if he did not have any change, on reaching her apartment's gate. She was just too tired. With a shrug she began to trudge up the three floors to get to her house. "Guess it'll have to be daal-rice again for dinner" she thought to herself. They had stopped eating out for sometime now, avoiding all unnecessary expenditures to save up for their own flat. "It's been over two weeks, no one has bothered to get the staircase power line checked" she murmured in disapproval as she ran her hand through the various partitions of her bag, standing in front of her door, trying to feel for the house keys. He'd not replied to her text, so her husband was either not home yet, in a bad mood from being overworked at office or watching some game on the TV! She was contemplating ringing the bell, when the door opened. "Thought I heard you out there", her husband said cheerfully, letting her in, as she blinked her eyes to adjust to the sudden bright light from their hall.

"Got a little caught up with work. Dint realize how late it was!" she said with a sigh and dropped her bag on the sofa. "I sent you a text though. Dint you get it?" she continued, slowing down towards the question, eyes suddenly widening, surprised at what she saw. The table was properly laid out for dinner! "Yeah, just saw your message" he said with a sheepish grin, "Why don't you change, and then we can have dinner?" "Dinner?! Did you order food?" she asked incredulously. "No, I cooked" came the reply as he disappeared into the kitchen. "You cooked? Seriously?" she asked, following him. "Yes dear! I do possess other talents apart from being able to open those jars with tight lids which you struggle with, you know!" he said with a wink. "Now hurry up, I'm hungry!"

She went into their room to change, still mystified, thinking of the possible reasons and unable to come up with any.

you know what?

it has been a crazy day
no one gets what you have to say
everything you stood for is gone
and yet, you have to fight on

you feel that this is all the battering you can take
only so many smiles you can fake
when no happiness can be found
and there is no hope being passed around

the problems outnumber the solutions
living is just going through the motions
your friends just do not bother
and you cannot tell one day from another

you feel that there is nothing more you can do
there is no one you can talk to
remember me, your burden i shall bear
and softly into your ears say, "i care"

i know the wars i can fight are few
but i have always been standing there beside you
so when you are going over the edge, give me a call
and i will be there to break your fall

there may be too many expectations to meet
all you want to do is rest your feet
go ahead, get some sleep
and hold my hand, take this leap

you know what?
tomorrow will be wonderful...

time goes on...

everyday, to the rising sun i say,

i am going to run faster than you today,

and time goes on...

at high noon, i still think i may,

even though on my back i lay,

and time goes on...

by sunset i am reminded of the dues to pay,

and i think to myself, there is always another day,

and time goes on...

(but by night, sleepless i stay,

awake, yet dreaming of the other way,

and time goes on...)

nature blues...

saw a little insect today,

seemed like a cousin of the bee

curled up there it lay,

though it was meant to fly, to be free

with tiny little wings,

and a body as blue as can be

even in death so beautiful, that my heart sings,

thank you nature, for having more colours than we can see...